My dear friend, Rebecca, suggested we do a fundraiser for Emilia’s Bags. We organized our efforts and purchased 15 Thirty One tote bags to fill. I wanted these to be different, and one of our NICU nurses suggested choosing more specifically who they would be given to. I knew immediately what my plan was, and put it into action.

When we were in the NICU the day we said goodbye to Emilia, Macy (then age 3) was with us the entire day. Without the help of child life and nurses, I am not sure how we would have survived that day. And I know for certain, Macy and I wouldn’t have the special family memories that we no have together with Emilia. They helped her blow bubbles to her baby sister (she was too frightened by the breathing tube to hold her), got her stickers to play with and a special baby doll to take home (she lovingly carried this “baby sister” doll everywhere for months), and encouraged Macy to spend time loving her sister in the ways a child could.

I decided these tote bags would be given to families who are saying goodbye to their babies in the NICU and have an older living sibling. I wanted those families to have the ability to make the same happy memories that we were able to make. They will include items such as bubbles, crayons, coloring books, pencils, and a special book that touches on infant loss (generously donated by Special Delivery Books). The tote bags will also include similar items from the traditional Bags of Hope (forget-me-not seed packet, tissues, pamphlet of resources, tea, crocheted blanket square) and also some new items. A larger Angel candle, a journal and pen to keep memories or notes, chocolates, and resource pamphlets.

It is our hope that these bags will bring comfort to families as they go through the hardest experience any parent could face. We are endlessly thankful to people from our community who have helped support our cause and help provide these bags to area hospitals.

Macy blowing bubbles to Emilia the day we said goodbye.

Thanks to the generous donations of those who gave financially or sent along items for the bags, we have officially sent 116 bags into the arms of bereaved parents. They have been mailed across the United States and as far away as Ireland and Argentina. They have been sent to moms, and a handful to dads, who lost their babies recently or many years ago. We are so thankful to remind them that they aren’t alone, and walk this journey with them. It breaks my heart that we have had to send so many bags, but we hope they have brought a tiny sliver of hope in the darkest time of their life.

Emilia’s Bags of Hope were created following the loss of my 5 day old daughter, Emilia. In the early days and weeks following her loss, I felt extremely isolated and alone. I spent hours searching the internet to find support. I only knew a couple women who had lost babies, and neither had lost them so soon after birth. I realized that I never wanted another parent to feel that way. I wanted them to have access to supports as soon as possible after their loss, and access to a parent who has been where they are to talk to. So, Emilia’s bags were created. They provide comfort items (tissues, a candle to light in memory of their baby, a small blanket square to hold when they think of their baby, a handwritten card, a tea bag for comfort, a notebook and pen, a packet of Forget-Me-Not seeds, and a pamphlet with online resources. They may also include additional items as they are available. They are provided to mothers (or by special request, fathers) who experience a second trimester loss, a stillbirth, or an infant loss (they can be tailored to an older child loss, but are primarily for these specific losses listed). The mission of Emilia’s Hope is to help other bereaved families know that they are not alone. To comfort them as they survive the unimaginable, and to provide them with resources to utilize along their grief journey.